This posting is a contradiction in terms.

An oxymoron.

One of those deep meaningful paradoxes.

This posting is about indolence.

The brighter ones amongst you have spotted the incongruity already, and are nodding your heads wisely, realizing the stiff challenge that I've set myself.

Because, you see, if I write about it, I don't practice it. The longer this piece is, the more of a doler I become. And if there is one thing I treasure, it is my indolence quotient. Which, you see, is what we Gokhaleites mean when we say of someone in tones of hushed reverence: "Oh, him! He has such an high IQ!"

Not that we get to say something like that very often, because in Gokhale, everybody has a stratospheric IQ. A very primary condition for being a Gokhaleite, you see.

We'll accept brains, and we're ok with brawn. Beauty is always welcome, but the "Bzzz! Bee-in-my-bonnet-let's-do-something-guys!" attitude... ah! now that we abhor.

Doing nothing is at the core of a Gokhaleite. We practice the art with an enthusiasm that borders on the manic. There are occasions, of course, when the art heads for peak performance, such as at seminar-time, or lecture-time, but even as a norm, we're pretty good at the not doing bit.

The art can be practiced alone or in a group. You see examples on alone indolence in classrooms, or in corporate meetings. Watch out for the elbows on the desk, head resting in hands, staring vacantly into nothing, glazed look in eyes, I'll fall asleep any minute now pose. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an indoler who's on cruise control.

Group indolence, I'm afraid, cannot be explained. It can only be experienced. But if you have a wistful smile playing around your lips right now, you've experienced nirvana. That magical feeling when you look at the clock and realize that you've spent the last so many hours doing absolutely nothing. And after which you stretch, yawn, grimace and say that you have to go in a couple of minutes and spend the next few hours doing absolutely… you know what I mean, you lucky bums.

Indolence, painstaking research has shown, gives optimum result when accessorized with chilled beer.

Hard drinks give satisfactory results (the slightly lower ranking is due to the fact that hard core drinking often infuses rowdy enthusiasm in it's imbibers… certainly no bad thing in and of itself, but very detrimental to the concept of indolence), while total absence of alcohol does not hamper proceedings either.

But there is nothing that comes remotely close to a group of close friends practicing the art on a somewhat muggy afternoon, under a rickety fan, with a crate of ice-cold beer for company.

I sense we're in emphatic agreement, no?

This one's for you, Denny boy. Here's to hot muggy afternoons in Bangalore.